Politics and The City: An Imagined Shutdown Finale

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We have no idea how this government shutdown, “hostage situation,” is going to end.  Who will cave first? Will the country default?

So many unknowables, and so many pundits trying to predict the outcome. So I’m going to swerve onto a different route. If the shutdown was reimagined as a favorite TV show called…uhh…Politics and the City, here’s what would happen:

With his government at a halt, President Obama gets woo’d away by the European “welfare state” and heads to Paris, France — a country with government healthcare.  Boehner heads to the White House with a list of demands, and a golf invitation but finds that the man ain’t home.

Rather than usurp the White House in a Tea Party coup d’etat, Boehner is crushed by the departure of his longtime sparring partner. With Obama gone, the House Speaker realizes that there is no other President he’d rather make irrational demands to, no other Commander in Chief he’d rather trade insults with.  President Ted Cruz would be like working with someone from the loony bin.  President Biden would bore him to death with stories about the train.

He rushes to Paris with a clean CR, and promises to never vote to repeal Obamacare again. He proposes a “Grand Bargain.” They’ll find a new law to argue about, as long as he comes home.

Back in re-opened Washington, we see Obama swivel around in his chair in the Oval Office. He props his feet on the desk and reaches to take a call on his Blackberry.  An up-close shot of the phone melts our hearts: It’s John.

By S. Gray


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